2: Juno’s Big Mistake

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Roadhouse

Written test, done. Housing? Working on it. Not the best neighborhood, but seeing the stupid regulations, he had to have certain things living there would provide. Like, nicer monsters to talk to that would be friendly with her. So he had to find advertisements looking for ‘nice neighbors’.

He looked toward a Monster a little ways from there. Hm, not so friendly looking. Stupid pink dog though. Alright, be friendly. “Nice lookin’ mutt you got there.”

The monster looked at him. “Thanks. His name’s Poopsie.”

He tried to hide his laugh, but he didn’t. “Uh huh.” Okay, end of time with that guy. Fine, won’t try and kill her. Check. He went to the others around the place.

When he knocked on one of the doors, a semi bigger than average pink or purple dipshit spider answered the door. This things even got tap fucking shoes. “Hey. Ad.” He showed her the ad that brought him there.

The spider took the ad. “Are you nice and friendly?” Her eyes were staring at him for some time. “Well, the ad didn’t say anything about clean and friendly.”

Fuck no it didn’t. That’s why he took it. He’d move quicker so she couldn’t think about it too long. He grabbed one of her front legs and started to shake it. “Well hey there, my goodness what a beautiful neighborhood you got here! I gotta tell you, the little lady and I are really going to love it. Yessirree, great atmosphere, great neighbor, and boy, you are a tap dancer, right?”

“I am!” She started to tap dance absolutely terribly, her legs going all over the place.

“Wow, great.” He gave her a real fake applause. “Are you professional? You should be with those moves.”

“I try to be. I work really hard.” She was pleased with him. “I think you would be a good neighbor, but you need to ask Jacques. He’s the other one here. If you get an okay with him, I guess you can move in.”

“Thanks.” He gave her a thumbs up. “Hope I see you around then and can call you neighbor, neighbor!”

“Me too, and I hope I can meet your wife soon,” she said back politely as she went back to her horrid tapdancing again.

Alright two jackasses taken care of, and the last one doesn’t have an ass. “Hey!” He peered right into Jacques apartment, picking up on what he was interested in right away. Before the skeleton had a chance to see him, he put himself in an exercise outfit and made his way in. “It’s great to see another excerciser around here.”

The skeleton came over toward him. “Oh, hello. I am Jacques the Skeleton. Yes, I love exercise. And you?”

“Aw, absolutely. Yeah.” He gestured toward his outfit he made real similar to Jacques. “Wow, hey. We must shop around the same places, huh?”

“Yes, maybe we do!” Jacques was falling for it well. “Are you Beattlejuice?”

Close enough. “Yep.”

“Ah. Did you meet Ginger?”

“Absolutely, great personality, my little woman is going to love the hell out of her.”

“Oh, you have a wife? That is very responsible. You seem friendly, you have a wife, and you are nice. I think you are a good fit as long as the others agreed.”

“Well, hey, then, I guess I win it.” He shook his hand and pulled him in for a hug. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me. I really needed to find a nice neighborhood for my wife. Yeah, I want to raise a family right, you know?”

“Oh, do you have kids?”

“Not yet.” Never in a million years. “I’ll start moving my stuff in soon. So, about that lease? What was it again?”

“The Roadhouse has monthly payments. As long as you pay, you should be fine.”

That’s all he had to hear. “Great. I’ll go get my stuff.”

——————————————

Juno’s Office

To let Betelgeuse mess around in the living world again would never go well. There was already enough messing around going on in it as it had been! There were fiends that she absolutely wanted put away, back where they belonged!

Unfortunately that was damnation, the others were out of her jurisdiction. She could do nothing about them.

Freddy Krueger was murdering people in their sleep. Jason Voorhees didn’t have as much time, but he made a bloodbath of the living when he did get freed. Charles Lee Ray, another freak she didn’t want to get started on.

Compared to them, Betelgeuse was a puppy, only doing things for money and thrill, and most times not lethal. But even an extra puppy wandering around on her watch made her look extremely bad. He was under control unlike the others, and he would not be under control if he married Lydia Deetz.

Her Superiors were almost ready to throw her into the sandworms themselves, and that would be lenient.

But, after Freddy Krueger tried to hide in an unborn, all leniency was over.

All over for her. She’d be exorcised if one more spirit ended up crossing the line in that century.

It was time to get nasty. She had to pull out tricks even her assistant never knew.

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Living World

Lydia looked at her room’s clock.

Barbara tried to uplift her by saying no news is good news, and it probably worked out.

Adam was more realistic and said what would be, would be, and just to keep living her life until any information showed up to change it. He even encouraged her to apply to colleges when she got old enough and follow her dreams until something disrupted them.

Her parents tended to try and get her to date a lot more often. They were trying to get her to fall in love and marry someone else. It wasn’t easy to get to happen at 18, and especially since Barbara or Adam would pay the price if she did.

In the end, her mom at least recommended trying to be with someone, because if the worst did happen, she wouldn’t want her first time to be with Betelgeuse. Lydia really wasn’t into that concept either. It’s not like Betelgeuse could force anything. If he did, she would be able to come back home.

If he was even still out there. It had been months now. Homework. Last of the Homework.

“Deetz.”

Oh no, that voice. Lydia lifted her head to see the face of Juno. “I’m nowhere near 18, it can’t be time?”

“I just can’t let you do this, things are too stressful already without him messing it up even more. It’s only a small step, he is a cunning bastard, he would figure out how to win you over, and then he’s freed on that side to create havoc. We just can’t have that anymore. Especially if we are responsible for him! It’s bad enough when deals are made with demons, but if our own bad apples get out just because of marriage? No.”

Lydia shook her pencil around. “So I don’t have to get married?”

“You only have to get married, if he can find you.”

Hmm. “But . . . he’s your assistant, and he’s good at finding people. Right?”

“Not if I hide you, out of your time.” Juno came closer.

Lydia raised an eyebrow. “Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

Moving her out of time? “That’s really a thing? Like, time travel?”

“In a sense. It’s a sort of time travel, I guess. You are still you, only you are born in a different period of time to someone who appreciates it.”

“Appreciates it?”

“Well, part of what makes you is your DNA, and not every woman out there can have children. It’s a nice compromise in rare cases, a kind of miracle for them.”

“Wait?” Lydia felt her head start to spin. “You don’t want to just shove me in time, you want me to basically begin again? That’s like killing me!”

“Don’t be overdramatic, it’s just a second start,” she scolded her. “It’s true, it’s not looked upon nicely. You will eventually catch up to the present time, and he might find you, but it’s doubtful. As long as you don’t have a lot of supernatural occurrences around you, you should be fine. Do not go looking for trouble.”

“How far back?”

“Not real far back.” She took a drag on her cigarette. “I don’t have that much power, or I’d just shove you back so far this wouldn’t be a worry. That and, things . . . tend to get bad when others are shoved back sometimes. But, I have to take that risk. Now, listen carefully.”

“I’d rather just marry the dead guy,” Lydia decided. “I don’t want to start out as a baby again.”

“There isn’t a choice, it’s too risky,” Juno said to her. “We have to go.”

“The next time I’m here, I’ll be older or dead? What time are you sending me to? Can’t I get a say?”

“If he does find you, when he expresses his claim, you’ll be much older. I doubt he’ll want to deal with you by then. You might even be dead, and if that’s the case, I’m sure he wouldn’t want to marry you. There’d be no benefit to it.”

“You’re not even caring about a word I say,” It sounded like she was about to be uprooted whether she liked it or not. “Are you going to at least tell my-”

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Juno’s Office

After taking care of things, Juno went back to her office, only to be disturbed by a sound around her.

“Be running up that hill.”

“What is that?” Juno asked out loud to herself.

---

Juno found herself whisked away to being in front of . . . Oh no. The Superior of the Neitherworld. Presented as a professional looking human, she hadn’t seen him in person since she was hired. He was above all in the Neitherworld, and the only one who connected to the true superiors of, well, the best term she could think for them were . . . gods.

He was the only connection between the Neitherworld and the god or gods or whatever the next step up were considered. She never knew for sure because she’d never seen them. No one had.

Except for the professional looking human in front of her. He didn’t even have a name, she just went with the tried and true ‘Sir’. “Sir.” He didn’t answer. “You wanted to see me, Sir?” Nothing. Okay, he didn’t want to mince words. “Is this about the song running through my office?”

Once she said that, she heard it again. He was letting it bleed through to her.

“This isn’t good, Juno.” he finally said to her. “Do you know what that is?”

“No, Sir. A song.” Oh, that seemed like a terrible answer.

“It is titled Running Up The Hill by a singer named Kate Bush,” he said. “It’s a nice tune. Do you know where it’s coming from?”

“The living world?” It would make sense that it would be coming from the living world.

“No.” He didn’t look happy. “You have weakened a gateway of an unconnected dimension. It is not a friendly dimension that is similar at all. We have had some problems with it here and there, but it was basically under control, until one more push broke it. That push involving what used to be Lydia Deetz.”

One more push. “Even the slightest push?” she questioned, knowing why she was there. “I assure you, I meant no harm to our dimension with my actions.” She had to reveal the mistake. “My former assistant had made a deal with a human in a tricky way about marriage, and if he does get loose, things could get even worse than they already are.” He didn’t seem to understand the last part as papers popped up in front of him and he started checking.

Freddy Krueger, Charles Lee Ray, Jason Voorhees, how could he even forget their presence in the world right now? Add Beetlejuice to it, and the world was teeming with too much supernatural.

“Oh. Yes. I see.” He put the papers away. “There were some minor snafu’s. Um? What you did though is essentially like . . .” He gestured his hands. “Hammering down on a piece of paper, to act like a paperweight. Like using two razorblades taped together to be scissors.”

Oh dear. “I overdid it?”

“The living world is about to break,” he answered. “If the world of the living breaks, then the Neitherworld breaks too. Everyone will be sent to where the exorcised pass on.”

Her punishment? What was to be her punishment would be the same for everyone? “That is a snafu.”

“Yes. We believe there’s a good chance it could be resolved,” he said. “A great chance it could be resolved, but it’s a much better idea to clear up this hole. For this did cause a tremendous hole. A metaphorical hole. Just for your future knowledge?” He almost seemed to smile. “Betelgeuse is nothing close to the likes of Freddy Krueger or the others.”

“Oh, I know, but even just any more juice after all that.” Oh, why even try explaining herself? “What do I need to do?”

“There will need to be more slippage in order to fix the problem. Close dimensions need to be brought in line. New rules established and old rules bended. Do not get involved in this matter further,” he warned her. “If you are needed, you will be called back. Keep yourself out of our business unless we call for you, and hope that things can be fixed. Or.”

Oh, that or. “Or?”

“Or you’ll be exorcised.”

Death for the dead. When she had first died, she was scared, not knowing what was on the other side. Most people were. With exorcism though? She was even more scared of it, then when she was dying for the first time. She lit a cigarette to calm her nerves but started to tremble just holding her cigarette.

She messed up. She really messed up. “I will stay out of the way completely unless I am needed.” Please.

Whatever she caused to happen, please let it be undone!